Monday, September 27, 2004

Light My Fire

I’m fighting fiercely with the urge to smoke a cigarette at the moment and I’m thinking of ways and means to go some place and be alone so that I can enjoy one. But, I’m not going to do that. It is moments like these that I start to wonder how the hell did I start smoking in the first place. It is a habit that I don’t take home with me as I still live with me mom and dad, who, strongly believe that apart from it being damaging, it is also just not proper for young women to smoke.
I wouldn’t say that I had been improper for that long, but I sure do know that the longer I enjoy this excruciating pleasurable habit, the harder it will be to give it up.
I use to despise the smell of smoke from cigarettes and wonder how anybody could pick up such a habit. I knew it would be something that I would never do. I also now know that things you once said can have a way of turning around and gnawing you back in the arse.
With down to two sticks a day on average now for the pass month, I believe I’ve done pretty well for myself after trying countless times on kicking the habit to the point of being pathetic occasionally. A few days ago, my lighter, which was in my pocket, took a plunge into the toilet bowl and drowned. I’m a woman. I suppose you can roughly guess how that happened.
I was cursing like mad… not because I had to picked it up, but that I could no longer use it. It was like any ordinary el cheapo lighter that you could get at 7-Eleven. But being the sentimental fool that I am, with a tendency to horde little things like these, it sure was my favorite. It had a smooth way of lighting up and I never had to (zip?) it twice. I find that something becomes especially precious and special to you, when only you can see the beauty in it, whatever it may be. Yes, even a freaking lighter.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i guess we all go through difficult phases in life sometimes,me,no exception.i'm probably the worst person to comment bout this as most of my friends would agree that i make worst commenters about someone picking up the habit to,i'm not going to say anything about it or even try to emphatize about ur sudden loss of lighter.^-^
but i'm definitely glad u're blogging and spending ur time typing than putting smoke into ur lungs.

September 27, 2004 at 5:18 PM  

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